Christina Aguilera has some (non-rules) for the bedroom

Photo Illustration: The Cut; Photo: Getty

Christina Aguilera is famously not afraid to talk dirty — and get her hands dirty — all in the name of work. (I mean!) This is especially true when it comes to product development playgroundthe sexual wellness brand that Aguilera co-founded and launched last March.

When she talks to Aguilera about love and sex, she exudes exactly the tone of happy, playful sass you’d imagine from the superstar. She is extremely comfortable talking about sexual play and pleasure in a way that feels honest, rebellious, and flirtatious. “When it comes to sex, we need to throw the rules out the window,” says Aguilera. “The name Playground generally implies that sex should be fun and exploring your body should be fun. Your body is your own personal playground where you should experiment.”

Aguilera knows her own physical playground well. She knows she likes vibrators and not baby talk. She knows she’s not afraid of rough sex, but Is Fear of the dark. She knows she’s a legendary singer currently preparing for a residency in Las Vegas, but she also really enjoys selling (and talking about) sex products. The range!

The Cut caught up with Aguilera to introduce Playground’s latest innovation: mood booster. (Designed for foreplay, intercourse and masturbation – or simply for “caressing” or “de-stressing”), the clean, pH-balanced intimate oil contains a warm, vanilla, floral essence that smells exactly like Aguilera’s take on eroticism; with in other words: “The smells that turn me on.”) Because who better to ask about bedroom rules and breaking bedroom rules than the woman who gave us “What a Girl Wants”? Especially because she likes to give you tips on how to get in the mood or work out, X-tina style.

We’re “technically” here to talk about your sexual wellness brand, Playground, and their new intimacy oil, Mood Maker. To make your PR team happy, tell me: what rule applies to using lubricants and when to using intimate oil? I would say that the lube falls into the “beginner” category; It’s a good starting point for people who have never experimented with anything. But the Mood Maker Intimacy Oil is actually tailored to me and the scents I personally like. I love being surrounded by delicious smelling things. And you want your vagina to be included in this super feel-good and smelly scenario too.

How can a more carefree person introduce lubricants into their sex life?
I feel for the woman who doesn’t feel safe or comfortable talking to her partner about sex or her own desires. That’s why the first step is to explore her own body so that she knows her needs. But it depends on the right moment. Place your partner’s hand on a spot that you know feels good, a pressure point, an orgasm area – that’s something you can do. If your partner is shy or doesn’t know what to do, it’s your job to guide them. Take her hands. You can blindfold them. You can play with food. Bring toys. Everyone loves the texture and feel of lube; it gets the juices flowing. You can slather some on yourself before sex to help with lubrication…or you can use lube by stroking your partner with it. There are ways to say nothing at all and let your hands and body do the talking.

What is the most important rule in your own bedroom?
Again, I don’t like rules. I don’t like to be rigid about anything in my life. Sex should be a limitless topic, and as long as you communicate really well, you’ll be fine. I’m in a long-term relationship now and when I’m not having sex with my partner, I like to use vibrators. They are a stress reliever for me. The fewer rules the better – but one rule is: Don’t be a selfish lover.

How do you feel about dirty talk?
Ooooh. Dirty talk. Well, I wrote a song, “Dirrty.” So, yes, I like to be a little dirty and a little naughty. But sometimes you feel like passion and romance. I am very mood oriented (hence the name Mood Maker!). It depends on the day. Sometimes I like it rough. Sometimes I like it gentle.

And… baby talk?
No, I’m not excited about it. I like to make it more intense, or you can treat me passionately. But you know, I’m not a baby. I am a grown woman.

What is the #1 rule when it comes to hook-up music?
At the moment I’m really into 070 Shake, which has a great vibe. All of you should explore the artist. I was just in Malta with my partner and we had a little hot tub situation in our room and played in there a lot. It was very nice. I really don’t like anything that’s too cliche, like… “Let’s Get It On.” That makes me suspicious. Great song, just not for having sex.

We are both mothers of two children. What would you say to mom friends who are too tired to have sex?
Well then not! When I’m overwhelmed, I wait until everyone goes to bed and take a moment to myself. It’s important for your mood and stress levels. Again, sex should be fun; it should never feel forced.

Are there strict rules for sleeping?
Oof. Sleeping is a difficult matter, I tell you. I have spent my whole life traveling and being on the move. Sometimes I don’t get on stage or start working until late in the evening. You do the little things you can. The Calm app works for me; I watch movies that comfort me just to hear them in the background. I’m still afraid of the dark, even at 42 years old. I literally travel with my own sheets, my own pillows, my own duvet. I travel with so many suitcases it’s crazy. You need to set the mood and tone that suits you to make your life as easy as possible.

When things feel crazy, as they certainly do, are there any rules to live by, or a spirituality, or a guiding light to turn to?
It’s still a fight. I struggle with great anxiety. You’d think after all this time the nervousness would subside, but I’m such a perfectionist. I always want to do a great job. I incorporated flow yoga into my life – breathing, taking breaks, stretching and so on. Most of the time, I’ve gotten better at taking a break and really telling myself, “This is okay.” This will get better. It will pass.” You have to downplay yourself. I tend to spiral, and one negative thought leads to another… and soon, before you know it, you’re completely surrounded by the negatives. You have to be your own leader. Sometimes when I’m in those moments when the pressure is high, and it is a lot, I say to myself, “Recognize the moment.” Meet that moment. This is what you were made for.”

If all else fails, find your vibrator and lock the door.
Yes! Exactly! With your mood maker!