Dear Denise: I want to go to a sex party, but I have some concerns
“What’s the etiquette? What if I see someone from work? Will there be intertwined bodies everywhere? Will it be dingy and full of old men?”
Do your research before deciding on an event. Photo: Getty Images
Don’t let others determine your coming out. Photo: Getty Images
Dear Denise: I have a fantasy about a sex party that I want to make a reality. I know it won’t be as good as I imagined – but it could be better.
I have so many crotchless panties I could open a lingerie store.
I found a venue in Dublin and planned some time off from work. But I’m worried I’ll look like an idiot.
What is the etiquette? What if I see someone from work? Will there be intertwined bodies everywhere? Will it be dingy and full of old men?
I don’t want anything too hardcore. I’m not looking for a way of life, it’s just an adventure before I settle down.
One-night stands can be so strange that it would be nice not to wake up in someone else’s bed and sneak out. I want something impersonal.
Answer: Some events are invitation only, others are ticket only. First, try just tickets and just explore.
Once you start attending a few, you will find the party you are looking for.
Organizers use dating apps and social media and are happy to hand out invitations to first-time visitors. Most party brands have an Instagram account that you can also DM with questions – if you follow such an account, you will be informed about the type of music and dress code. And if you see someone from work, just talk to them.
Don’t let others determine your coming out. Photo: Getty Images
Dear Denise: Sex with my best friend changed me
Dear Denise: I had sex with my best friend and we are both girls. I know I’ll never think about boys the same way again, and I’m a lesbian. I want to come out so my parents know who I am. I’m 23, so I’ve already had boyfriends and I know that love between two girls is what I want.
My best friend says she’s not gay and will never speak to me again if I tell anyone. She started dating a guy and he’s really cute. She is afraid of losing him.
Why can’t she see that this has nothing to do with her? I just enjoy girl-on-girl sex. She says we don’t have to put labels on things and it was just a hot sexual experience and it doesn’t have to change our whole life. She scares me.
Denise answers: Reassure your girlfriend that your coming out has nothing to do with her and that you won’t tell your family that the two of you slept together. Would it be a good idea to have another sexual experience with a woman before telling your parents?
You deserve a coming out experience that is safe and full of kindness. Worrying about your best friend adds pressure to an already big moment in your life. If someone reacts negatively to your messages, please remember that it is their problem and not yours. Enjoy being yourself.
Email your issues to Denise Smith denise.smith@sundayworld.com All pictures were posed by models