Emily Ratajkowski says she was “100 pounds” after having her son

Emily Ratajkowski says her mental and physical health took a hit at the end of her marriage.

The My body The author filed for divorce from then-husband Sebastian Bear-McClard in September 2022 after four years of marriage. The former couple share son Sylvester Apollo, whom they welcomed in March 2021.

Talking to sex education blogger and mental health advocate Eileen Kelly on her podcast Dear Media. become mentalRatajkowski said the end of her relationship with Bear-McClard took a toll on her, both physically and emotionally.

“I didn’t have the courage to leave for a long time,” she said of her marriage. “I was really, really unhappy. I weighed 100 pounds and had just had a baby. I got really skinny because I wasn’t well.”

At the time, Ratajkowski said she had “tried everything else,” including antidepressants, to try to feel better because she felt “there was something wrong with me.”

“I think so much of what I’ve learned from this relationship is to trust your instincts. And gaslighting is a real thing,” she said. “I didn’t understand that it would actually be so nice to go back to myself and get back to how I see the world, how I understand things, my instincts, whatever. That’s the advice I would basically give to anyone. You’ll be shocked at how much easier life is.”

Leaving their marriage was particularly challenging, as “every bit of media” encourages the idea of ​​finding a partner who “completes and validates you.”

“Also, I had just had a kid,” she continued. “I just wanted to have this family and whatever. So it was particularly difficult for me to walk away completely.”

Ratajkowski also reflected on the reaction to her divorce, which came after rumors of infidelity from Bear-McClard. Back then, Kelly says, many people couldn’t have believed that you could cheat on a “perfect woman” like Ratajkowski. The model found this reaction surprising.

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“It was so interesting how the reaction to that news was because I was just like, ‘Duh, men are trash, ladies.’ It doesn’t matter who you are or how ‘perfect’ you are,” she said.

The High Low The podcast host – who has been linked to the likes of Eric Andre and Pete Davidson since filing for divorce – shared that she’s back together, but not so much to find a partner as to focus on all aspects of her life to feel fulfilled.

“I’m tired because I’m spending the extra time helping myself to define who I am as an individual, separate from my identity as a mother or as a professional in my career, and that means being a little bit more tired, but it actually makes me happier and helps me get back to myself,” she explained. “I do, but some people I know, a lot of new single moms, are just like, ‘Why would I date?’ I say, ‘I don’t know. I don’t have an answer for you.’ But that’s what I do and it helps me and I like it.”

She noted that she’s a retired “pick me girl,” which meant she had previously “given up my own priorities to be loved or chosen,” both romantically and professionally.

“I was essentially targeting a lot of powerful men,” she said. “I just totally gave up my own limitations and my own ideas of what’s important and I’m super grounded in them now. I’ve basically curated my life exactly how I want it to be. It’s almost hard to imagine someone coming in and being additive and bringing things to the table.”

The Ex girlfriend The actress has previously opened up about finding each other after the breakup. In an October 2022 interview with The cutShe shared that she’s officially in her “slut era” — and defined it as a way to reclaim female anger.

“In general, I think anger is something that we all have a negative relationship with,” she said. “Justified anger can be really productive. Much good can come from anger, and it does not mean violence or toxic masculinity; it can only mean being a slut.”

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