“I feel his spirit all around us”

Sarah Herron/Instagram Sarah Herron holds son Oliver, Oliver’s handprint

Sarah Herron reflects on the death of her son a month after his death.

in a (n Instagram Post Tuesday, The bachelor Alum, 37, shared how the final month of grief was for her afterwards Death of son Oliver Brownwho was born in her 24th week of pregnancy.

“It’s been a month since Oliver was born. ❤️ This is him, this is his cute little face. Perfect and covered in light blonde peach fuzz. All 2 pounds of him,” she wrote, referring to the photo carousel, which depicts various scenes of greeting and mourning the little boy.

Speaking of getting through the difficult time, Herron wrote, “It takes a certain kind of hibernation that only a grieving mother knows. But somehow we are here.”

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“What I hate is that the more time separates us from the night we met Oliver, sometimes I can’t tell if the last month has been a nightmare or if my pregnancy was just a dream,” she wrote . “And as each new day brings space and healing… I’m disappointed that we’re moving back into a direction of life that looks physically like the one we lived before Oliver. My body is healing but I remain in maternity jeans – a paradox of both relief and sadness.”

Looking ahead to spring, Herron admitted, “I’m not ready yet.”

“The minutes of daylight gained each night are an insulting reminder that life goes on, although my grief is still held in January. I don’t want the snow to melt or the trees to bud. I want to winter with Oliver forever.” She said.

Dylan Brown/Instagram

The story goes on

“What I love is that the joy has come back sooner than I thought it would,” Herron admitted. “I didn’t believe people when they told me. And we laughed – actually a lot. We started cooking and going for walks again. And Rio, sweet Rio… he was my lifeline. He is my witness.”

Herron explained that she was “solely focused on healing.”

“I still don’t really see or talk to people. The good days are starting to outweigh the unbearable days, and good days are even starting to find their way inside,” she noted.

After collecting her son’s ashes earlier this month, she noted that they “stay in a white gift bag until his urn arrives.”

“I have to find humor in it myself because honestly it’s kind of funny 😊. I feel his spirit all around us, people all over the WORLD feel his spirit. And while his body isn’t here, I know this isn’t the end of Oliver Brown,” Herron wrote.

“Happy heavenly one month birthday little boy. We love you and miss you forever. ❤️”