Will Smith promised fans he and Chris Rock would “be friends again” after the Oscar smack. One psychologist warned against making “seasonal people a lifetime commitment.”
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Will Smith beat Chris Rock at the 2021 Oscars, sparking a public row between the two.
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Rock addressed the incident on his Netflix comedy special Selective Outrage.
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dr Frederick Smith told Insider it’s important to acknowledge your role in an argument.
It was the slap that was seen around the world.
Three hours into the 2022 Academy Awards, Chris Rock presented the award for Best Documentary as Will Smith took the stage and hit him for comments about Jada Pinkett Smith on national television. The incident was preceded by a wave of criticism calling for it Smith to apologize several times.
“And, you know, if you hold on, I promise we can be friends again,” Smith said told fans in July 2022 YouTube video.
Rock in turn remained relatively silent on the matter until he vented his grievances in a no-holds-barred Netflix comedy special.Selective outrage.”
“I’ve rooted for Will Smith my entire life,” Rock said. “And now I watch ‘Emancipation’ just to see him cheered.”
The couple had previously been on friendly terms, having worked together on an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in 1995 and Spike Lee’s mockumentary Torrance Rises in 1999. Rock later worked with Pinkett Smith on the “Madagascar” franchise.
Friendships are complicated, and the resolution of one isn’t always a blame game, according to one psychologist. dr Frederick Smith, the has worked in the mental health field for 15 yearsspoke to Insider about what can lead to friendship breakups, how to deal with them, and knowing when to cut your losses.
Smith said there are multiple reasons a friendship falters, but sometimes we need to acknowledge our role in a rift
Smith explained that everything from moving to the city to opposing values could strain a friendship. In the case of Smith and Rock, on the night of the slap, both parties felt disrespected by the other. When this happens, Smith said, it’s important to identify where the anger came from.
“Did the anger you felt toward the person have anything to do with them or what they did?” Smith said. “Or was there something else and you took your anger out on that person?”
Sometimes people can handle their anger.
“Often we will not face the greatest stressor and take it out on the person who least deserves it. That can be a spouse, significant other, family member, or even a friend,” Smith said.
But that doesn’t mean that a friendship after a disagreement is beyond repair.
After a fight, friends must decide if the relationship is worth fixing
Smith said both parties must be willing to repair the friendship in order for it to flourish again. This may mean getting together to discuss the issue or getting help from a licensed professional.
“A therapist will help them restore that friendship by helping them figure out where it began. My philosophy is that we cannot focus on the present without looking at the past,” he said.
On the other hand, Smith acknowledged that friendships can run their course.
“It’s hard for some people to accept, but some friendships will end. It’s natural,” he said. “You won’t be able to maintain friendships with everyone that comes into your life.
He added, “Often times we run into these issues because we’re trying to make seasonal people a lifetime commitment.”
Smith said learning to apologize and forgive properly is “so important” in friendships
Saying “I’m sorry” to someone sincerely initiates the process of forgiveness, Smith says, which means the other person has an opportunity to let go of hurt feelings.
When all else fails, it’s okay to mourn a broken friendship, Smith told Insider.
“We don’t just grieve when we lose a loved one through death. We also mourn the loss of relationships — even if the person is still alive,” he said.
He added, “Sometimes friendships aren’t meant to last forever and that’s okay.”
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